Dynasty Warriors: Shades of Zhang He
by Sonata-Time-Nocturne-Aoi
Summary: Complete! These are a collection of 100-150 word shorts starring the flamboyant and lovable Wei Officer Zhang He, his daily exploits, and the wide array of reactions from his fellow Dynasty Warriors. Rated T.
1. Misplaced

**Story**: Dynasty Warriors: Shades of Zhang He  
**Author**: Master Jin Sonata  
**Written**: April 30th, 2015  
**Genre**: Humor/Drama  
**Rating**: T (Violence, Language)  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own Koei or its beautiful soldier.

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**Misplaced**

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"Where is it? Oh my word where's it?!"

Zhang He frantically rustles through a dresser drawer.

"What are you looking for, Zhang?" Xiahou Yuan asks. "We've got a battle to get to, let's go!"

"I can't find my eyeliner!" Zhang responds.

"You wear eyeliner? You weirdo," Yuan says. "Come on!"

Yuan then grabs Zhang and drags him out the room.

"Oh…the horror of going into battle not looking completely beautiful!" Zhang responds, sighing as he is dragged out.

Sima Yi enters the room moments later.

"Who the hell's been in my makeup drawer?!" Sima Yi questions out loud in shock.

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**Quick and simple! Please review and read on, as this fic is updated constantly!  
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	2. Erroneous

**Erroneous**

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"Do you see it?"

Standing on a watch tower overlooking the battlegrounds were Zhang He &amp; Dian Wei. Telescopes in their hands, they watch as their army march toward the enemy forces, flags waving on both sides.

"Yeah, our troops are going to wipe-out the enemy in no time," Dian Wei responds.

"No, I mean the enemy flag!" Zhange He says with concern.

"Huh? What about it?"

"They dyed their flags red and blue, those colors are so out of season!"

Dian Wei simply stares back at Zhang He with an annoyed look for his distracting observation.

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	3. Finesse

**Finesse**

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"One and two and three and four!"

As part of a required training regimen ordered by Lord Cao Cao, all of Wei's generals and prominent figures were lined up within a large hall inside their castle. Lead by none other than Zhang He, every person attempted to follow his flawless and graceful fitness moves.

"Come on, shake those hips! Thrust them forward as you would your own spear!" Zhang He coaches everyone while he continues to perform.

"Was that an innuendo or just my imagination?" Xiahou Dun whispers to Zhang Liao.

"If it was I'm more inclined shoving something else up his backside if we have to do this everyday…" Zhang Liao answers frustratingly.

"Careful, he may enjoy that sort of thing…" Xiahou Dun responds.

"Ah shit you are right…" Zhang Liao sighs.

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	4. Curious

**Curious**

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"Hey, what are you doing with that?"

Entering into Wei's weapon storage was Cao Pi. He approaches Zhang He, who was examining his twin-blade weapon.

"Oh, don't mind me, I am just in a bit of a curious mood," Zhang He responds, feeling up Cao Pi's blade.

"Well I don't appreciate it when others touch my stuff without asking. Do you even know how to use that?" Cao Pi questions.

"Oh, its not for my use, it's always worth a shot, I mean, I suppose it will do. The kitchen staff are in need of a new blade to cut their newest shipment of fine meats from the western trade," Zhang He says, satisfied with his find as he exits the storage.

Cao Pi throws his hands into the air wondering why he even bothers.

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	5. Intrigued

**Intrigued**

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"Your eyes are most telling, you know?"

Zhang He was sitting in his room across the table from Wang Yi, who stared blankly back at him.

"Hmm?" Wang Yi responds in a monotone voice.

Zhang He laughs. "It is said that you can see one's secrets through their eyes. From what I can tell, there is a lot more going on with you then you are willing to reveal."

Wang Yi snaps out of her stoic state and narrows her eyes at him, as if she was about to murder something (or someone). "W-what are you talking about? You know nothing about me!"

"I concur. In fact, your reaction just now is the same as when you were presented with a plate of delicious chocolate cake the other night during dinner. Someone loves their sweets to death, don't they?" Zhang He responds with a wry smile.

Wang Yi's face turns bright red, flabbergasted and embarrassed at how easily he saw through her and her killer love for dessert.

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	6. Beautiful

**Beautiful**

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"What is it with you and your beauty nonsense anyways?"

Dian Wei and Zhang He were sitting next to one another enjoying a small lunch within Cao Cao's palace.

"I mean, there's a thing called beauty and masculinity, two totally different things in context of describing something," Dian Wei states.

"Not exactly. Both terms are gender-locked, but both describe the best of the human senses and what we perceive as beautiful," Zhang He responds.

"With that logic I would describe myself as a pretty hunk of muscle with flowering metallic blades of enchanting steel," Dian Wei responds dryly.

"Do you truly?" Zhang He responds, amused.

"NO!" Dian Wei shot back.

"Was worth a shot..." Zhange He muses in satisfaction at his ally's response.

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	7. Indulged

**Indulged**

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Zhang He just couldn't stop.

After stuffing his face on a tray of low-fat, low calorie pastries, Xu Huang approaches him and sighs.

"Lord Zhang He, what are you doing?" Xu Huang asks

"Helping myself to some delightful treats," Zhang He responds with satisfaction.

"Uh, you do know those pastries are actually treats meant for our hounds, don't you?" Xu Huang enlightens him.

Zhang He chuckles.

"Whether it be for beast or for mortal man, these are delicious. My regards to the chef," Zhang He responds with a grin.

Xu Huang raises an eyebrow.

"Very well, I shall let our esteemed pastry chef and cake decorator Jia Xu know of this…" Xu Huang says as her turns and leaves the room.

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	8. Lusting

**Lusting**

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Zhang He carefully climbs up walls outside of their main keep. He stops by the third floor window that lead into Cai Wenji's bedroom.

Peering inside he could see that she was sound asleep in her bed.

He gives a sly smile as he climbs inside and slowly approach her bedside in silent yet graceful movement.

Once he was over her, Cai Wenji slowly opens her eyes, which now stared back at the lustful gaze Zhang He was giving her.

"…You're here for my special facial cream, aren't you?" Cai Wenji asks dryly and tiredly.

"Nothing would make me happier!" Zhang He responds giddily.

"Top drawer on the left side," she tells him, pointing to her night stand.

Zhang He bows as he takes his precious face cream and flutters out of the room like a butterfly.

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	9. Staunch

**Staunch**

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The Wei forces were lined up in a single file line outside of their compound. Cao Cao paces in front of his esteemed officers as he gives them a motivational speech.

"What is the sole purpose of Wei?" Cao Cao proclaims.

"To united the Three Kingdoms!" his army responds in unison.

"What will we do to ensure victory against our enemies?" Cao Cao says next.

"To crush our enemies and show them the power beyond the Emperor!" his army echoes.

"What will be the end result of our hard work and staunch dedication to your grand leader?" Cao Cao asks his army.

"A beautiful assortment of cute homes lined with gardens and a dance studio for everyone to come and dance together under the Spring sunshine!" Zhang He proclaims proudly.

Cao Cao was face-palming at his response, as it was not the response he was looking for.

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	10. Shades

**Shades**

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_"Lushious...Warm...Wet..."_

In this kingdom, you'd be lucky if you survive an encounter the Beautiful Butterfly. The self-proclaimed beautiful warrior known as Zhang He.

_"Hmph, he's still breathing..."_

_"That's because you weren't stabbing him enough..."_

_"Killing only does so much for a man. I can make better use of him as my personal trainee."_

The rain steadily pounded on the defeated body as it lay here out on the barren battlefield. Zhang He stare at the grey skies as it rained tears of resentment upon this zone of rage. Then came the sound of echoing footsteps nearing the scene of the attack

"Xiahou Dun, Zhang He...are you two alright?"

Everyday it seemed like it happened all over again, like some broken record of parallel events. Yet, I know I can break this chain of tension within my soul. I will take it upon myself to make everything beautiful, by either grace, or either by force.

_"If only the doubtful skies knew what would happened to them if I came out..._

_...This butterfly has flown."_

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